Ok ya’ll, you know I’m keepin’ it real if I’m actually posting this hideous photo of myself on the internet! I wanted to write a piece about my relationship with food and in order to do that I needed to show you that (at times) that relationship was an abusive one… hence the inappropriate upper arm fat and badonkadonk that’s happening above.
This weekend we took the boys to Pismo Beach, a vacation destination in the central coast of California that I have visited at least a million times throughout my life. Originally, I started taking photos of each meal because I wanted write a post about what a sweet town it is and recommend it as your next go-to beach. And then I noticed a trend…
The “trend” in question is that whenever I can find a reason to indulge (a holiday, a vacation, it’s Tuesday) I can (and will) consume more calories in a single sitting than some professional wrestlers. All thoughts of waistline or pant size go right out the window when confronted with a basket of steak fries and it’s a problem I’ve had as long as I can remember.
If you read last week’s Mom-Fession post than you know that I’ve been trying so hard to get the boys to eat more vegetables. So how is it that when given a bit a leeway, I allowed myself to eat a cinnamon roll the size of my head?!
Years ago, I was watching an episode of Oprah and some weight loss guru asked a group of obese people “what is food to you?”. I thought it was such an interesting question, as each person had a different answer. For some, food was the enemy, for others food was their friend. To me, food is fun. Every great memory I have of my childhood (holidays and birthday parties) is centered around my big Okie family gathered around a table and eating something delicious. To this day I eat based on my emotions which is great when life is going good. But if I’m stressed, or tired, or overwhelmed WATCH OUT!
I suppose the good news, is that years ago I used to eat this way at every meal and then I’d cry when I couldn’t button my jeans having no clue why I couldn’t lose weight. I was a chubby kid, and it’s taken years to get out of that mentality. At least now I’m educated on what it takes to gain and lose weight. I make really healthy choices throughout the week and exercise daily. The issue now, are those darn weekends filled with date nights and brunches where I can easily destroy every positive choice I’ve made all week long.
Does anyone else out there do this? Give themselves “permission” to eat, or worse yet, reward themselves with food? I do it all the time, and abused it to the fullest this weekend. This morning, though, like every other Monday morning I was back at the gym paying penance. And as many times as I fall off the wagon, i just keep getting back on, maybe someday it will stick.